mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
