sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
As shirtless as possible
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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