I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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