She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
