Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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