I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
