I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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