one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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