They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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