i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
