just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
