I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize