Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
