How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
