If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
