I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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