and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize