Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
