my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
