We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
