I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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