Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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