you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
