So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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