What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
