I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
