I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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