She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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