I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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