Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
