i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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