i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
