i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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