This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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