I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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