We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize