I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
