i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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