sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
