no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When are your genitals available?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
