But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
