I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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