East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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