she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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