Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i permit you to call me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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