I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize