Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So vagazzling was a success
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
