Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
