He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
