Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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