i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
