you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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