You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
