I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize