I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
