He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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