I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
