never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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