You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
