Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
