Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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