I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
as a side note pls kill me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
